yes you may laugh at me
Current mood: pensive
thought I would give pause for a moment and share with people some fairly glaring examples of what a fucking klutz I have become. It is only recently that I have noticed this eerie tendency to lose all control of my motor functions, most of the time completely sober... I am forced to wonder whether this is a sad, sad development in my rocketing course towards old age or merely a temporary faze I will soon have the good luck to escape from...Case in point: So far this year (and by year I must remind you it is only the end of February) I have: Missed the bottom 2 steps and pitched forward into the wall at the base of the third floor landing Knocked the shampoo and conditioner bottles off of the rack over a dozen times, thereby emitting horrendously loud booms and emphatically waking up the entire household. Slipped on a patch of ice no bigger than an Eggo and fallen on my right leg, scraping up my leg and bending one of my toes somehow in the process. Almost knocked myself unconscious when I opened up my car door one night, smashing the top right edge of the door into my ear and then driving home in an hours worth of traffic convinced I was hemorrhaging in my brain because blood was pooling in my ear (it was merely a cut for all of you waiting with baited breath to see if I am actually writing this from the grave) Got plowed into by the dog as she ran down the stairs and dropped my poor, already battered iBook down 8 stairs...(my roommate Liz later awoke and said she thought someone dropped a toaster oven down said stairs, that's how loud it was) Was climbing the ladder at work yesterday and managed to drop an entire stack of Teacher Man to the ground nearly missing a small child (an interjection here...this is particularly upsetting to me since my previous prowess at climbing and descending ladders armed with gigantic stacks of heavy hardcovers has oft been a source of pride for me) Got my head wedged between an enormous box of heavy trash and the wall of the dumpster while helping closedown our Milford store a couple of weeks ago (this episode is far funnier if you can imagine it in your minds.. Eric and I standing in a 2 foot sea of stripped paperbacks trying to shove as much trash into the rented dumpster as we could and my head getting pinned...of course Eric was laughing his ass off, probably due to the numerous bald jokes I have been known to crack) Rolled over my foot with a library cart full of street dates. Stepped in dog poo. Almost pitched forward on the T. and... just this morning... dropped an ENTIRE pot of coffee on the floor. The entire thing. I hadn't even gotten a cup out of it yet.